Caroline Cranshaw's Sealed Section: What to do if you can't have a vaginal orgasm

Publish Date
Friday, 10 November 2017, 11:00AM
Photo / Getty

Photo / Getty

Welcome to Caroline Cranshaw's Sealed Section where she answers your most burning questions.

Warning: The following gets pretty raunchy!

Dear Caroline,

I’ve never been able to have a vaginal orgasm and starting to think maybe I’m just broken. What should I do?

Ah, the mythical vaginal orgasm. It’s right up there with unicorns and Santa Claus. Some women can orgasm through only vaginal penetration, but they are far and few between. Nature played a dirty trick on us women by placing the clitoris outside the vagina. Men think that since penetration feels so good for them it must feel as good for us. Wrong!

Expecting a woman to orgasm through penetration alone is like expecting a man to come by only touching his balls and the base of his penis. Some men can do it, but not many. I remember having a boyfriend who became frustrated with me since I needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

I talked to a gay male friend of mine about it and he was outraged. He said that’s ridiculous! That when two men were together they both made sure that their dicks were stimulated. If a man is being penetrated, he plays with his dick since it makes it feel even better. He said, your clit is your dick! Of course, you need to touch it to have an orgasm. So, you are not broken, you just need to be ok with playing with your dick.

Caroline Cranshaw is a hypnotherapist, life coach and the author of The Smoking Cure. Find out more about her at nzhypnotherapy.co.nz