- Publish Date
- Thursday, 28 June 2018, 9:00AM
Popular Australian blogger Constance Hall has urged young women to stop choosing men who will stand up for them and, instead, choose a man who will stand next to them while they stand up for themselves.
The post, accompanying a photo of Hall, her new baby Raja and her partner Denim, was a message to young girls who praise "men who fight for them".
Hall says she overheard a group of teenage girls talking about "James", who, this girl said, is "so protective of [her]".
"Once a guy was rude to me at a party and he had a full on go at him," the girl said, as recounted by Hall.
"The girls looked happy with this, they felt loved, protected, precious," Hall explained.
The blogger couldn't help but intervene.
"You can be cute if you wanna be cute, boys can fight over you, protect you and look after you ... that's easy," she told them.
"But when you're powerful, strong, self-assured, respected ... it's insulting to be protected and fought over. You stand up for yourself and do not need little boys throwing little punches in your honour," she continued.
Hall wants girls to know that when men fight for them, they're not showing them they love them. It is, in fact, just another reflex of "toxic masculine culture", she says.
"You see when a man fights for you, he's not telling you he loves you. He's telling the other man that you're his, that he's stronger, he's falling into the toxic masculine culture that holds women down and keeps men angry.
"So if a boy is rude to you at a party, look for a boyfriend that stands by your side proudly while you defend yourself or simply walks away with you. You don't need protection when you're a warrior woman in the making," she added.
The message resonated with a number of people and the post quickly went viral, with more than 7,000 likes in under an hour.
"Yess! I don't need no man to defend me! I am strong and I can defend myself I would rather someone stand by my side then try and defend for me I can do that on my own," someone commented.
"You are so right! I am strong enough to defend myself, don't degrade my worth by making out that I am just a showpiece. I am a woman! I get it Con! I love how you always manage to make me see things differently and empower women to be validated! Oh, and by the way, this pic is LOVE!!!! So beautiful hun," someone else said.
Other Facebook followers, however, pointed out that not everyone can stand up for themselves and, therefore, it's nice to feel like someone has your back and will stand up for you when you can't.
"No one has ever stood up for me, no matter how much I was bullied. You know how that makes me feel? Like I am not worth fighting for. Nothing wrong with someone who cares about you standing up for you. I hope one day someone will stand up for me. Because we all need that sometimes," a Facebook user commented.
This article was first published on NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.