These are the 15 signs your partner is 'the one' according to psychologist

Photo / Getty

Photo / Getty

A US psychologist has come up with a list of questions to figure out if your partner is really "the one".

Gary Lewandowski Jr. is a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, who finds the most common question he's asked is "Am I in the right relationship?"

He told The Independent: "It is probably the question people have the most but are least equipped to answer themselves.

"When they try to determine, they don't always know the right questions to ask and focus on the wrong thing."

Devising a list, Lewandowski based his questions on the Keltner list, a method created by baseball statistician Bill James to determine whether a baseball player deserves to be elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame.

The 15 questions are designed to aid the thought process and be fairly easy to answer.

Lewandowski claims that if you respond "yes" to the questions below, which rely on both scientific data and intuition, then your relationship is worth staying in.

But on the flip side, answering "no" to any of them means your relationship might not last.

The 15 signs your partner is 'the one' ...

1. Does your partner make you a better person, and do you do the same for them?

2. Are you and your partner both comfortable with sharing feelings, relying on each other, being close, and able to avoid worrying about the other person leaving?

3. Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are, without trying to change each other?

4. When disagreements arise, do you and your partner communicate respectfully and without contempt or negativity?

5. Do you and your partner share decision-making, power and influence in the relationship?

6. Is your partner your best friend, and are you theirs?

7. Do you and your partner think more in terms of "we" and "us," rather than "you" and "I'?

8. Would you and your partner trust each other with the passwords to social media and bank accounts?

9. Do you and your partner have good opinions of each other – without having an overinflated positive view?

10. Do your close friends, as well as your partner's, think you have a great relationship that will stand the test of time?

11. Is your relationship free of red flags like cheating, jealousy and controlling behaviour?

12. Do you and your partner share the same values when it comes to politics, religion, the importance of marriage, the desire to have kids (or not) and how to parent?

13. Are you and your partner willing to sacrifice your own needs, desires and goals for each other (without being a doormat)?

14. Do you and your partner both have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities?

15. Are you and your partner sexually compatible?

Even if you responded "no" to any of the above, Lewandowski says this isn't necessarily a bad thing, because "if you're in a mediocre to bad relationship, getting out frees you up to get into a great one".

"Staying in a bad relationship is the worst possible thing for you."

He added that "learning good stuff about relationships is no threat to good relationships".

This article was first published no the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.