This woman's powerful response to being told she's not a 'real mum' is perfect

Publish Date
Thursday, 2 November 2017, 3:00PM
Photo / Getty

Photo / Getty


Being a mother is one tough, yet rewarding job.

And whether you gave birth the 'natural' way, had a c-section, are a stepparent or adopted - when it comes to being a mum, what really counts is that you love your child and are there for them through the good times and bad.

So one when one woman was told on Facebook that she "wasn't a real parent" because she was an adoptive mother, she wasn't going to let that slide.

Writing in a perfectly worded Reddit post, user vietnamazinggg replied to the woman who closemindedly doubted her role as a "real" parent to her son:

A woman on Facebook tried to tell me I wasn't a real parent since I didn't give birth ...

My response to her:

I did not give birth to my child. I did not get to feel him growing within me, or hold him against my skin when he was born. Perhaps by your definition, my child is not a part of me – he does not resemble me or my wife.

Let me tell you what being a parent is to me.

I didn’t labour for hours for this child, I laboured for YEARS. I waited for years to be told that we had been chosen, that we were finally going to be allowed to be parents.

I didn’t feel labour pains. I felt the incredible pain of emptiness in my heart and home as my wife and I yearned to begin our family through adoption.

I didn’t get to wake up in the middle of the night and nurse my sweet child. I did, though, spend many nights lying awake and praying to whoever might be listening to let us be next. Asking myself why we hadn’t been chosen yet. Poring over adoption profiles and sending endless e-mail inquiries on children available for adoption and being told no, no, no over and over again. And like you said, “you can’t possibly understand that feeling.” I feel certain you have absolutely no idea.

A child lives to depend on me – you’re right. My child has been let down by everyone else in his life. You think I am not losing sleep? He may not wake me up to feed him every couple hours, but he screams out in his sleep – no doubt reliving past traumas from the life he led before being adopted.

Not every experience is your experience. Not every mother is a mother because she gave birth. Not every child is yours or a “part of you” because you grew it inside of you.

My child will always be a part of me, because we’re fighting for this life together.

[Also:] F*** you. I'm a mum. 

We couldn't have put it better ourselves!