Column: How Long is a Piece of String?

Publish Date
Wednesday, 13 May 2015, 8:49AM

How long is a piece of string? Well, in this case, it depends how tall you are.

According to a new study, using a piece of string to find out if you’re in proportion might be a better way to see if you need to lose some weight than working out your Body Mass Index (BMI). Simply measure your height with a piece of string and then fold it in half. If you can easily get it round your waist then you’re fine! If not, then you may need to step away from the pies and step onto the treadmill.

Like all good guinea pigs, we both gave it a go and were most displeased with the results. No matter how much we tried (and believe us, we tried pretty darn hard), the string just would not meet. We realised when it wouldn’t meet easily that we’d already failed the test, but still we stretched that string as far as it would go, to no avail (Sarah did almost lose her legs due to a lack of circulation however!)

This horrible experiment got us thinking about those little things in life that remind you you’ve started to pack on the pounds, and we asked our listeners to complete this sentence: You know you’re getting tubby when… and the answers came flooding in.

“When my fat pants become my regular pants” said Jessica. Bronwyn said “When I dance and stop but my body keeps wobbling”. Many of these self realisation moments seem to come from children, who don’t intend to be cruel but have tongues sharper than knives. Kim said “When my daughter says ‘mum my little brother is already here, how did you get another baby in your tummy so fast?’” Leeanne knows she’s getting a bit tubby when her kids walk round singing ‘Ohhh Novus, show us ya crack!’ Vanessa said “When my darling boy pats my tummy and asks if I was the one who ate all of the cookies.”

And our personal favourite from Raymond. “I know I’m getting a little fat when I bend over and the front stud on my jeans flies off and hits our cat in the butt while he's eating his jelly meat…true story”.

It seems we’re not the only ones for whom the string isn’t quite long enough!