Hawke's Bay Today Contributors Column (July 30)

Publish Date
Tuesday, 29 July 2014, 10:45AM

Sarah has been labeled a cheater. And not for the first time either. Last year she cheated on a rowing challenge and rowed 1500 metres in a time that would have put her on par with Emma Twigg. 

Martin thought this was highly unlikely and it turned out he was right – Sarah had set the wrong level on the rowing machine and actually rowed a time more like what Kim Dot Com would achieve. Sarah knew this as soon as she completed the challenge but failed to come clean - she still maintains it was an honest mistake. 

There was another time she banged on all week about how she would be rafting down the Mohaka over the weekend, only to chicken out on the morning of the ride, claiming her recurring shoulder injury would prevent her from being able to paddle. This time round, she has cheated on the Dry July No Chocolate Challenge. 

A couple of nights ago (with just days of the challenge remaining) she indulged in a few squares of the new Whitakers Hundreds and Thousands chocolate.  Sarah was adamant she hadn’t cheated as she claimed it’s similar to white chocolate, which often goes by the chocolate name, but is not in fact chocolate as it does not contain the required amount of cocoa solids. In fact, this product doesn’t even call itself chocolate but Hundreds and Thousands BLOCK. Martin said that was ridiculous. We put it to the listeners and most agreed with Martin. “Rules broken!!  If it’s in the form of a chocolate bar its chocolate Sarah!”

“Sarah do you also believe that waters not a drink just a cleaning product?”

And the clincher.

“Sorry Sarah it says 28% cocoa chocolate at the top of the packet!”

Damn!  Foiled again!  Last time she cheated there was a punishment.  And this time round is no different.  Sarah’s favourite food is obviously chocolate, so Martin has decided her punishment should involve her three least favourite foods. Asparagus. According to Sarah it tastes gross and makes your pee smell like burning tyres. Mussels. Sarah can’t even walk past these in the supermarket without gagging. And everyone’s favourite, brussel sprouts, which Sarah claims smell like feet.

These culinary delights will be consumed by Sarah live on the show tomorrow morning. Will she gag? Probably! Tune in tomorrow at 8.20am to find out.