Vibe Magazine column (Sep 3)

If you were to ask Martin what his favourite book is, he’d reply “Walter the Farting dog”, because it’s the only book he’s read all the way through in the past 10 years, and it’s mostly pictures.  Ask Sarah, and she would reel off a list of her top 20 favourites, discussing the merits of the different authors and how they each bring their story to life.

Sarah loves to read.  So imagine her delight when she discovered books that you could listen to.  Sure these have been around for years, but with the digital revolution, you can now download audio books to listen to on your on your Ipod or phone.  Even better, if you belong to the library, you can download them for free! 

Have you ever tried to read Harry Potter while washing the car or hanging out the washing?  Virtually impossible.  But with an audio book, you can read and do your chores at the same time!  Sarah has downloaded and listened to many different books over the years, but had her first audio book embarrassment over the weekend.  It was early evening, deathly quiet in the neighborhood as Sarah wandered outside to collect more wood, while of course, listening to a book.  You’d think she might have realised something was amiss when the book started with an R18 warning about explicit content. 

The title, “Banged up” may also have provided a hint, but poor naïve Sarah thought it was a thriller about someone who was beaten up.  It wasn’t until she was collecting the wood, with the volume up very loud, and the narrator started talking quite explicitly about certain parts of the anatomy that Sarah realised she had in fact downloaded an adult book.  Very adult.  Think 50 Shades of Grey but more graphic.  It wouldn’t have been so bad, but Sarah’s elderly neighbor happened to be out in her garden at the time this erotica was playing.  Sarah promptly tried to turn down the volume, turn off phone, press any button that would make the book STOP but unfortunately dropped the phone. The audio kept playing until well after the neighbor had bolted inside, no doubt to phone all the other neighbours and warn them about the moral depravity going on next door.  Sarah’s learned her lesson. 

Take note of the R18 warnings and always wear headphones.