It's a funny life with Megan: A hairy moment on Mother’s Day

We run a segment on our radio breakfast show quite often that’s simply called “Know How I Know You’re Old”.

A funny bit aimed at taking the mickey out of the inevitability of growing old gracefully.

Jeepers, did I get to add to this segment this week with some recent purchases. But we are all friends here, so I shall overshare.

Picture this if you will. It’s Mother’s Day morning and you’re enjoying some lovely crumb-filled cuddles in bed with your children.

The kids are right up in your face as children like to be. And one of the wee cherubs looks at you and then announces for all of Taradale to hear, oh yuck Mum, what is that growing out of your mole?

Oh the shame! Now, we all know when there is a random hair growing where it shouldn’t be, so this wasn’t news to me. But after running my finger over it intermittently 100 times a day, I was an expert at what I thought was an appropriate length for the hair to grow, and by my calculations, we weren’t at plucking level yet.

Just to double check though, I bought a make-up mirror that magnifies things up to three times as my eyesight is failing me. Know how I know you’re old? See how this works now.

I got the mirror home, assembled it incorrectly so it’s wobbly and got up nice and close and personal with my mole.

This will be an easy pluck I thought somewhat confidently. Well, as it turns out, the hair had grown straight out and then it had changed course and it had taken off in the other direction.

So the hair was bent at a right angle. The tip that I thought I was feeling was actually just the bend in the hair and it was growing another 5cm out the other side!

No wonder my son said ‘yuck’. I said a lot worse let me tell you! And my next thought was, why had no one else said anything? However, it’s hardly the sort of thing you bring up at the school gate.

To add insult to injury, I also purchased a do-it-yourself blood pressure kit to test your blood pressure at home. In a cruel twist of irony, you can find one among the scales in the bathroom section. Therefore I have made the executive decision to not test my blood pressure after I step on the scales, or after I’ve discovered a rogue growing hair.

This article was first published by the Hawke's Bay Today and is republished here with permission.