Caroline Cranshaw's Sealed Section: Do you think she’ll leave him for me?

Welcome to Caroline Cranshaw's Sealed Section where she answers your most burning questions.

Dear Caroline,

I just found out this person I’ve started spending time with has a boyfriend. I really like her but I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice. Do you think she’ll leave him for me?

I know it can be tempting start something with someone who is in a relationship but my advice is to stay completely platonic until she is single. I think you should have a look at yourself and ask why you are wanting to get involved with someone who’s not available. Is there a possibility that you have commitment issues or are insecure and looking for the affirmation of someone choosing you over someone else?

When growing up, did you witness affairs or love triangles? If love was a drama when you were growing up, you may be attracted to people with traits or in situations that will create drama in a relationship because that feels like love to you. If she feels the same way about you, how she handles the situation will show a lot about her character. If she wants to fool around on her boyfriend with you, then you can pretty much guarantee that if you do end up in a relationship with her, not only will you be paranoid of her cheating, it’s highly likely she will do the same thing to you. And is that really the type of relationship you want?