Demi Lovato opens up about sexual assault and near fatal overdose in new docuseries

Demi Lovato has revealed that she was sexually assaulted before her near-death drug overdose.

In her new documentary,  Dancing with the Devil, Demi alleged she was sexually assaulted by her drug dealer and she revealed she called him when she returned home from an "intensive trauma retreat" in a bid to take back control - but only ended up feeling worse.

Demi - who suffered the drug overdose in July 2018 - said: "I didn't just overdose – I also was taken advantage of."

"I've had my fair share of sexual trauma throughout childhood, teenage years. And when they found me, I was naked, I was blue. I was literally left for dead after he took advantage of me.

"When I woke up in the hospital, they asked if I had had consensual sex," she continues. "There was one flash that I had of him on top of me. I saw that flash and I said, 'Yes.' It wasn't until a month after my overdose when I realized, 'Hey, you weren't in any state of mind to make a consensual decision.' That kind of trauma doesn't go away overnight.

"I was literally discarded and abandoned."

"I wanted to rewrite his choice of violating me. I wanted it now to be my choice, and he also had something that I wanted, which were drugs.

"I called him back and said, 'No, I'm gonna f*** you.' It didn’t fix anything. It didn’t take anything away. It made me feel worse. That, for some reason, was my way of taking the power back.

"All it did was bring me back to my knees, begging God for help. ... I ended up getting high.

"I thought, how did I pick up the same drugs that put me in the hospital? I was, like, mortified at my decisions."

The It’s OK Not To Be OK hitmaker was scared to speak out about what happened to her and admitted she was unsure whether she would be believed.

She said: "Honestly, ever since I watched Rihanna and her pictures get leaked after the Chris Brown incident, I was very uncomfortable with even more of my story playing out in the press, and also people maybe not believe me."

Demi also opened up about being raped as a teenager.

The singer had been "hooking up" with a guy but didn't want to have sex with him because she was still a virgin, and after he forced himself on her, she blamed herself and carried on seeing him afterward.

She said: "I lost my virginity in a rape. I called that person back a month later and tried to make it right by being in control. And all it did was just make me feel worse.

"We were hooking up, but I said, 'Hey, this is not going any further. I'm a virgin and I don’t want to lose it this way.' And that didn’t matter to them, they did it anyway.

"I internalised it, I told myself it was my fault because I still went in the room with him. I still hooked up with him."

And the Camp Rock star revealed the traumatic incident sparked her self-harm and eating disorder.

She added: "Here was the thing. I was part of that Disney crowd that publicly said they were waiting till marriage. ... Then I had to see that person all the time, and so I stopped eating and coped in other ways — cutting, throwing up, whatever.

"My bulimia got so bad that I started throwing up blood for the first time.

Meanwhile, Demi also revealed she has been smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol "in moderation".

The 28-year-old singer opened up about her battle with addiction and sobriety and revealed that claiming she is going to be completely sober "doesn't work" for her.

According to Entertainment Tonight, she reveals in new YouTube docu-series Demi Lovato: Dancing With The Devil, she said: "I've learned that it doesn't work for me to say that I'm never going to do this again... I know I'm done with the stuff that's going to kill me, right?

"Telling myself that I can never have a drink or smoke marijuana, I feel like that's setting myself up for failure because I am such a black-and-white thinker.
"I had it drilled into my head for so many years that one drink was equivalent to a crack pipe... [I've] been smoking weed and drinking in moderation."

Demi admitted she was unsure about being public about her decision because she wouldn't want to encourage people to do the same.

She explained: "I also don't want people to hear that and think that they can go out and try having a drink or smoking a joint, you know?

"Because it isn't for everybody. Recovery isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. You shouldn't be forced to get sober if you're not ready.

"You shouldn't get sober for other people. You have to do it for yourself."

However, some of her close friends questioned the decision in the documentary.

Her assistant Jordan Jackson admitted: "It does kind of scare me now to know that she isn't sober."

And her manager Scooter Braun said: "Demi knows the whole moderation thing isn't something I totally agree with.

"What I've learned with the whole addiction thing is if I push her to do what I want, I push her away. I can't control her. What I can do is be a friend and hope that she's right." 

Where to get help:

If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.

- Bang! Showbiz

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