- Publish Date
- Tuesday, 31 October 2017, 4:00PM
Life coach and author of How To Be Selfish, Olga Levancuka, says we should be keeping an eye on our partner's sleeping habits to avoid ending up in separate rooms - or heading for an altogether more permanent separation.
She believes the positions you and your partner adopt while sleeping can reveal a lot about the state of the relationship, because the subconscious mind controls how you arrange your body under the covers.
Here Olga reveals the sleeping positions that could be red flags in your relationships, as well as the ones that indicate you're closer than ever...
Spooning is a common sleeping position among couples and it demonstrates that one person in the couple is protective over the other. It can also reveal sensuality as it leaves the person being spooned in a sexually vulnerable position.
However, if the spooning turns into a chase and one of you has retreated towards their side of the bed while the other is following in an attempt to maintain closeness, trouble may lie ahead as something in the relationship is amiss.
There’s a chance that one of you has become disconnected from the relationship and have given up on creating intimacy.
It’s time to find out what’s causing this feeling by asking your partner whether they feel that the passion has died or if there’s anything they feel they’re missing by being in the relationship.
Often small things can be overlooked and end up creating a big disconnect which gets bigger as time passes by. Address the issue while it’s still early.
SLEEPING ON YOUR PARTNER'S CHEST
When your partner sleeps on their back, and cradles your head in their arms as you rest your head on their chest, the message is that they are protective over you.
If you’re facing them in the fetal position resting on their chest it shows that you’re comfortable to depend on them but if you sleep with your head on their chest while your body is away from theirs, it shows that you want more independence and want to make your choices in day to day life.
You may love your partner and spending time with them but you wish you had more time to yourself and you had more of a say on decisions that affect you. Firstly, you need to evaluate your own feelings.
SLEEPING ON YOUR STOMACH
Sleeping on your stomach protects the front of your body which can be an indication of feeling anxious or vulnerable.
Unless you have a health problem such as neck pain and sleeping on your stomach is more comfortable, this position shows that you may be afraid to show your emotions.
It’s time to have a chat with your partner about how you feel in the relationship. Make sure to frame your words in a way that expresses your concern while keeping your partner’s feelings in mind.
If you notice your partner sleeping facing down, you can cuddle up to make them to make them feel protected and let them know you’re there for them.
THE BED STARFISH
If one person sleeps like a starfish in which their arms and legs are splayed across the bed, it’s an indication that this person is pretty selfish.
If your partner is doing this and is pushing you to the point where you’re pretty much about to fall off the bed, it’s time to have a frank conversation with them about the state of the relationship.
Subconsciously this signals that they are not overly concerned about your feelings any longer so perhaps it’s best for you to move on.
If your bodies don’t touch while sleeping but one of you starts playing footsie under the duvet, it indicates that this person is craving emotional or sexual attention.
If that’s you then you need to address any issues with your partner as soon as you can as the longer you leave it the more frustrated you will become and the more difficult it will become for you to share your thoughts calmly.
If your partner starts doing this and you’re still want to be with them make sure you schedule some time together and remind yourself why you love them.
And these positions show that you're closer than ever...
BACK TO BACK AND TOUCHING
If you sleep back to back with your bottoms touching, you are relaxed and comfortable with each another.
You feel confident in the relationship and appreciate your own space while still being there for each other.
In this position, one partner rests their head on the other’s chest. This is a nurturing posture that creates a sense of protection, signalling a high level of trust and comradeship.
BACK TO BACK AND FAR APART
If a couple sleep back to back but far apart, it shows that the couple are connected, while also being independent
Many may consider this being a bad position, however it is practical and demonstrates that the couple is connected, secure, close and independent in the relationship.
If you sleep with your heads at the same level, you’re connected and if your heads are touching, it shows that you’ve got like minds and know what the other person is thinking.
This article was first published on Daily Mail and is republished here with permission.