'Wage war': Woman's mother-in-law attempts to veto her baby name

Coming up with a name for your child is hard enough as it is without people throwing their unwanted opinions into the ring.

But one mum has opened out about just that after her mother-in-law made a baby name request that hasn't gone down well - and now readers are divided about whether its reasonable or not.

Taking to social media, the mum wrote: "I'm pregnant with number three. Have used all the baby names we like up for boys on the first two.

"There is one name I absolutely adore but it's the name of DH's (dear husband) uncle. MIL (mother-in-law) does not speak to her brother (or any of that side of the family) and has said we can't use it as it would make her uncomfortable."

The mother-in-law revealed there was no particular reason she didn't like her brother.

But now she's having a hard time moving forward as her husband doesn't want to confront his mother who is staunch in her thoughts.

"DH says he's not willing to go to the bat on this, but I'm in two minds.

"I don't want to be a dick and I don't want to wage some sort of war over this but equally I feel a bit pissed off as the baby will be known by a nickname anyway this is just for a beautiful formal name, and does she really have the right to do this?"

She also claims her mother-in-law hasn't always been loving and supportive and didn't attend their wedding because she didn't approve.

She was hopeful her mother-in-law would make a small sacrifice on this occasion, but it appears to have hit a stalemate.

So who is in the right and who is in the wrong? The mother's response was met with mixed reactions.

A number of people said the mother-in-law should have no input into baby names.

"You owe her nothing," declared one commenter. "Call your baby whatever you want, if she has an issue with that, that is her problem!"

Another added, "She's had her turn to name her children. Now it's your turn to name yours. Obviously, she has no say in this."

Others suggested the woman reconsider her choice of name for the sake of the child's relationship with his grandmother.

"Honestly, I would not use the name," chimed in another. "Not because I would be bothered by the relationship with MIL, but because of your child's relationship with his grandma. There is always the possibility that she will treat him differently and that's just not worth doing for a name."

Another added, "Under these specific circumstances, I would say it was unnecessarily provocative to use her brother's name."

This article was first published by the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.

Take your Radio, Podcasts and Music with you