Bride's revenge on cheating groom is perfect
- Publish date
- Wednesday, 21 Jun 2017, 2:05PM

(Warning: this article contains explicit language)
Picture this, it's the night before your wedding, you're a bundle of nerves and excitement. You're about to settle in for a good night's sleep - and then you walk in on your husband-to-be in bed with your bridesmaid.
What would you do if you found yourself in this horrible situation?
For this American bride, and one loyal bridesmaid, they decided to document the whole thing on Twitter as they plotted to get revenge:
Y'all. I have been having the most ridiculous 24 hours. Friend wants to keep the drama off twitter, but is okay with me saying this:
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
She caught her fiance in bed with one of her bridesmaids last night. They were supposed to be getting married today.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
It was going to be a low-key backyard wedding. We're still doing the potluck & party. He's not welcome. Locks changed, etc.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
While the jilted bride was no doubt devastated, her group of loyal pals rallied around her for support:
I took her to the ranch overnight (got to fix my computer this morning as a result!) & we're back in Austin. Swung by my house for supplies
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
And as the group rode through the stages of grief, the bridesmaid continued to update her followers:
She's angry as hell. No tears yet. I was a bridesmaid and there was a third; 3rd and bride and I are plotting.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Frankly, I wouldn't piss off two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw, especially if two of them have law degrees.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Anyway, I'll probably be MIA the rest of the day but figured y'all would appreciate knowing what was going on. It's been an adventure.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 17, 2017
Quick update: potluck was fun, his crap is cleared out, and now we are dancing to a good DJ and shooting paintballs at her dress. A+
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
update: Everyone is now calling them "painballs" and I just can't
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
But the party was interrupted by a riveting plot twist:
HOLY SHIT SHITTY BRIDESMAID/SECRET GIRLFRIEND AND THE EX ARE IN LAS VEGAS WHAT IS GOING ON
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
SHE'S LIVESTREAMING THEM GETTING MARRIED WHAT EVEN IS GOING ON HOW IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
And while her support crew watched in amazement, the bride reportedly cried "with laughter".
everyone here is screaming and gathered around an ipad
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
the bride is on the grass crying with laughter
A minute later she shared that the bride "managed to choke out 'I didn't dodge a bullet; I dodged a f**king atomic bomb' oh my gods this is just..."
Incredulously, the cheating groom and his new bride then proceeded to boast about their honeymoon.
Shitty Bridesmaid is boasting how they're going on a REAL honeymoon. We *were* taking bets on whether it would be a tacky resort in Mexico
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
But the jilted bride revealed they wouldn't get far...
or a cliche trip to Paris, but the Bride announced that he's not leaving the country; she's got his passport 😂😂😂
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
We are now taking bets on whether she's going to livestream the wedding night.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
While her former husband-to-be and his new bride were busy planning a getaway, she was busy making sure he had nothing to his name.
Oh btw Ex and Bride had a shared bank account for their honeymoon (they were planning on Scotland in late autumn). She drained & closed it
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
while waiting for me to pick her up last night. She's changed the passwords on all her accounts (including her Netflix, ofc).
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Dude just angrily texted her b/c he's realized the money is gone
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
(she's left Cohort Bridesmaid in charge of her phone)
As the saga continued, the loyal bridesmaid revealed how her friend had been there for her in a similarly heartbreaking situation:
A little context for y'all: 12 years ago, I caught my ex-fiancee cheating on me when I flew in to surprise her. Bride drove 3 hours to
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
get me and protect me from my grief. When I say I know she'd do the same for me... it's from experience. I caught my cheater 1 yr b4 wedding
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
As the party wound down, the bridesmaid kept her followers updated and went on to share the plan to donate all of the groom's things to charity.
Most folks are leaving/calling cabs. A core half-dozen of us are staying here w/her overnight. She won't be alone this week unless she asks
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Tomorrow we donate her mattress to a DV shelter. His clothes go to Goodwill. She owns his laptop. His mother is taking anything else.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Unless something wild happens (and given the Ex and Shitty Bridesmaid's nuptials, WHO KNOWS?!), this thread is probably done for the moment.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Low-key update: we've decided to take his things to *multiple* goodwill locations. Can't make it too easy for him to get it all back.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
Just to clear up a few things before I go to sleep: she's not *keeping* his passport; he forgot it in his rush to flee his guilty conscience
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
It's one of the items (along with photos and similar) that his mother will be taking. He can deal with *her* wrath.
— Starlight Witch (@starlightgeek) June 18, 2017
While she may have lost her groom, it sounds like the bride was exactly where she needed to be as the drama unfolded.
Needless to say, she was right when she said she dodged a bullet on this one.
This article was first published on NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.
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