Welcome back to the absolute shambles that is The Bachelorette.
On Monday night we said goodbye to everyone's favourite Fabio-looking kumara farmer, and last night another one bit the dust.
What was originally supposed to be a romantic, splish-splashing date at a water park turned into a true self-esteem nightmare – being broken up with while wearing togs.
"It shouldn't be this hard," began Mike.
"It felt like we were here for similar reasons but now I'm really struggling to understand yours. While on paper this seems ridiculous to walk away from, I'm going to go back and say goodbye to the guys and fly back to NZ."
Absolute mic/Mike drop, right?
"I know why I'm here, but I don't think she does. I don't think she's ever been completely honest with us or with herself," he said during his little interview thing.
"She gave nothing, but I hope she realises that to get what she wants she's going to have to figure a few things out pretty quickly. I'm really interested to see how this all plays out."
Aren't we all, cause at this rate Lesina's not going to have any bachelors to pick from at the end?
And the drama didn't stop there – later that day, Richie forgot he was miked up while he was bitching about Lesina to the rest of the lads.
"Lily is so open and honest and easy, while Lesina turns up to dates and it's like she's reading off a scripted card."
And in case that's not awkward enough, Gossip Boy then questioned Lily's motive for being on her fourth reality TV show by the age of 23.
"I can't believe she's another reality show, why does she need to do this to find love?"
Unfortunately for Richie, his nemesis Jesse overheard his bitching and later narked on him to Lily during their one-on-one time – so get ready for shit to hit the fan on Sunday night when she confronts him about it.
Even more chilling though, was Lesina's one-on-one time with Logan during which he whipped out a notebook full of song lyrics and "lessons he's learned" dedicated to her.
Oh, you're still not utterly sickened? Have I got the thing for you – he then proceeded to inform her of "the kinky sex stuff he's into," a detailed explanation so explicit that TVNZ had to bleep it out.
"She's in for a treat or in for a nightmare," he told the camera gleefully while pushing a grape into her mouth.
I'm going into self-isolation; I honestly can't bear this. Bye.
The Bachelorette NZ continues this Sunday.
Tune into Can I Steal You For a Second, the podcast giving you all The Bachelorette NZ goss:
This article was first published on the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.