Man dubbed an 'awful father' for banning 9-year-old daughter from his wedding

A father has revealed why he banned his own 9-year-old daughter from his upcoming wedding, saying he believed he had made the correct decision despite a backlash from his own family.

The 46-year-old father shared his situation online, seeking confirmation as to whether he had made the right call.

He said he was preparing to marry his 39-year-old fiancee and had two daughters from previous relationships, one 18 and the youngest just 9, adding that the youngest girl's mother had left when she was only 6.

"My fiancee is a very sophisticated person and has exquisite tastes. She also does not really care for young children and this has created tension between her and my youngest daughter," he wrote.

"While our plans have been delayed due to global circumstances, our plans to get married are finally going ahead. It's going to be a very lavish and expensive wedding. Due to the nature of the wedding and my fiancee's preferences, our wedding is also going to be child-free. We will, however, be inviting my oldest as she is no longer a child and because, unlike my youngest, her and my fiancee get along well."

'She started crying'

He then detailed the heartbreaking moment his daughter discovered that she was excluded, revealing she only found out when her stepmother took her sister out to buy a dress and she tried to tag along.

"I explained to her that the wedding was going to be for adults only and that she wouldn't be attending. She started crying and getting mad which stressed out my fiancee," the clueless dad wrote.

He said that his decision had also caused a split with his own parents, who were furious that he had prioritised his fiancee over his daughter.

The man said he was planning a "lavish" wedding. Photo / 123RF

"I explained to them that my daughter wouldn't be attending the wedding because the child-free rule applied to her as well. Besides, this wedding would not be suitable for a child and I don't want my fiancee to have to deal with my daughter on the most important day of her life," he wrote.

When his parents said that they wanted to take their daughter out for a special day instead of attending the nuptials, he banned them.

"I told them they couldn't do that, even if they didn't attend the wedding I wouldn't let them take my daughter. This has become a bigger conflict than I intended.

"My fiancee and I both think we're in the right for wanting a child-free wedding, but it appears I may lose my parents from the wedding over this and I want to know if I'm in the right or not."

'Awful father'

The man received the advice he sought, but it didn't back his extreme position.

"Not only an awful father, but a colossal a**hole. That poor little girl," one outraged user wrote.

"His parents wanted to take her out but he won't allow it. So is she meant to stay at home and sweep the floor while waiting for her cruel stepmother to return?" another noted.

"Why the hell are you marrying someone who doesn't like your child?" asked another incredulous commenter.

One outraged comment summed up the man's failures: "You should be ashamed. You are the worst kind of man and father.

"It was wrong of you to date this woman given how she feels about and treats your child, who any halfway decent parent would know should be put first.

"It was absolutely wrong of you to marry this woman and combine families with her when she resents your innocent child for existing."

This article was first published on the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.