What is TikTok’s ‘orange peel theory’ and what does it say about your relationship?

If you’ve been on TikTok recently, chances are you’ve come across countless videos of people testing out the “orange peel theory” on their partners, with varying results. 

In case you haven’t, here’s how it works: You ask your partner to get you an orange and peel it for you. If they do, then congratulations: you have true love. If they refuse to peel it for you, that’s bad news for your relationship. 

The “test” has since gone viral on the video sharing app, with clips of men either peeling or not peeling oranges for their wives or girlfriends earning millions of views. 

But does the simple act of preparing fruit really signify true love? Is this the benchmark for romantic relationships in 2024? As psychologist and author Alexandra Solomon tells Vox, “An entire intimate relationship can’t be boiled down to what a partner does or doesn’t do with an orange.” 

So yes, it’s just another TikTok trend — but in another sense, the popularity of quick-fire tests like this might just say something deeper about what we’re craving from our relationships. 

Solomon acknowledges that testing our partners in this way can be an attempt to prove they’re there for us, that they’re able to care for us and provide us with what we want and need. 

It brings to mind the “name a woman” trend, where women ask their partners to think of a woman’s name. The correct answer, of course, is her own name. But Solomon says there’s no scientific basis to any of these tests. 

Yes, it’s important to know what your partner wants and to be able to provide it, but the only tried and true way to know these things about each other is to communicate, she says. 

“What I would rather do is have couples sit side by side with each other or sit face to face and have conversations where they’re asking and answering interesting questions or engaging in activities together rather than quizzing each other,” she says. 

It’s a trend typical of heterosexual relationships, and may spring from the fact that historically, women have struggled to ask for what they need because it’s uncomfortable. 

Think how often you simply say “I’m fine” in response to questions about how you’re feeling or whether you’re okay. 

“The healthy thing to do is say, ‘Honey, I would love it so much if you would get me an orange, peel it, put it in a little bowl, you know, and even break it down into little sections for me’. Just ask for what you need,” Solomon suggests. 

Women in particular are used to anticipating their partners’ needs before they’ve even expressed them. But expecting the same from men, who haven’t been conditioned in the same way, can leave them confused, she adds. 

“I feel like I spend so much time in couples therapy working on this dynamic with men, where they’re just like, ‘Oh my God, ask me for what you need, and I will do it’.” 

So instead of asking the viral orange peel question and sharing the results online, try explaining to your partner exactly what your needs are rather than attempting to test them. 

This article was first published by the NZ Herald and is republished here with permission.